For God So Loved…
We all know that Valentines is a time to share love and kindness with others. This year we thought we’d give you a quick Valentine sermon/lesson to help you plan your lessons for elementary kids. Utilize it however you wish!
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They’re Worshiping the Wrong Person
My five year old was looking at an old 80’s band in a concert on YouTube (ask my husband what that was about!). The audience was crammed up to the stage as concerts usually look like with their hands raised and chanting. “Daddy,” Maxx said, “They’re worshiping the wrong person.” I was amazed how he could discern that in just a couple of minutes. It would be easy to work late every night with meetings and ministry gatherings, but when your kids watch the amount of time you’re at home, would they, after evaluation, know you are worshiping the right person?
Here are some ways to determine what message you’re sending:
- Ask your spouse how you’re doing?
- Check the “joy meter” of your family members. Are they peaceful and happy? Are you?
- Looking at your calendar, are there more family events/times or ministry events. Sometimes quality is not measured by actual minutes spent.
- Are you mentally home when you’re home?
Utilize some steps or tools to get things in order. A yearly Family Action Plan is a way to help your family be in a place of priority. Just as your ministry calendar reflect the ministry goals, make sure your calendar includes family goals. Perhaps choose a theme scripture for your family for the year, or family vacations that will produce the outcome you hope. If you desire to teach missions to your kids, make sure you’re doing something as a family that will instill that heart. Plan time with your spouse. It will benefit your whole family and it also models healthy love and value. While you plan your year, don’t forget simple ways to show your family you care by planning devotional times and time for prayer as a family. It is worth the time invested. Take seriously the goals of your family so you keep your family and Christ the center of your life.
To worship the right person needs to start with the personal relationship with Christ. It’s unfortunate that ministers have lost their family and their walk with the Lord because they have lost balance and begun to worship what they do for the Lord; making it about them. Like a thief, the shock of the brokenness of their family or the grief of a divorce takes place in a blur. No one asks for this. No one plans for this. But somehow the worship transferred from Christ and Christ-like things to themselves. It’s imperative to arrange your time to keep Christ at the center of who you. Studying for a sermon cannot take the place of personal application of the Word to your life. Prayer and intercession for others and the church cannot take the place of listening and talking to the Lord about what’s going on in your life. Regardless of how much you do for the Lord, He wants to have a relationship with you not your deeds.
Many are setting up the ministry calendar for next year. It’s also a great time to reevaluate how your time is spent and what your kids see when they watch your ministry model. Whether you choose to ask the questions, set up your Family Action Plan or increase your intimacy with the Lord, goals are easier to hit when you reflect on them more than once a year. Talk with someone to help you evaluate where you are and hold you accountable to keep Christ and your family in their place. It will be worth it to make necessary changes so you’re kids know you’re worshiping the right person.
Christmas Outreach for your Family
God so loved the world that He gave… He didn’t give in the most elaborate and extravagant way, but in a lowly simple setting of a manger and a stable. Often we want the attention and highlight for big ways of giving, yet like Christ, the big impact came in due time. Helping people less fortunate can happen in the same way.
Image by Norm & Debra via Flickr
Before opening gifts in our family Christmas morning we always read the story of Christ’s birth and share how God gave us the greatest gift of all in Jesus. Another friend of mine saves gifts for birthdays but for Christmas they give gifts to the less fortunate. If your family is looking for a different approach to Christmas celebrations, perhaps you’ll find an idea or two that suits your family and community dynamic.
Operation Kid to Kid
Each year an item and a country is chosen by Group Publishing and used to mobilize gifts for whole communities. The gifts are chosen to provide the children’s need. Operation Kid to Kid is tied into a VBS program it is not limited to that tool in order to utilize it to reach kids through the one chosen item for the year’s project like blankets, balls, bags or stuffed animals. You can see pictures and project ideas at Operation Kid2Kid.
Christmas Shoe Box Project
This is an easy way to get kids to provide toys, clothing items, games to children all over India, Africa and Philippines. Kids choose what goes into the box. Learn more on their website.
Other well-known organizations that have a plethora of outreach options such as Samaritan’s Purse, World Vision, Compassion International are also a great place to start with your family outreach this year.
Your family doesn’t need to go through an organization like mentioned above, there are simple ways you and your church can reach the needs of people in your community. Think of the people in your community who don’t get a lot of attention as a place to start with your family Christmas project. Kids in orphanages or in hospitals, elderly in homes and families in homeless shelters are often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season.
There are a variety of ways your family can give. Have kids make cards and deliver them to those home bound. Help your kids learn some Christmas songs and sing them at various locations. Consider allowing your kids to go to the dollar store and choose toys to give away. Even if you can’t give the gifts or cards directly you can ask for pictures or stories so your children see the effect of their giving. Secretly sponsor a family in your community so that instead of buying gifts for your family members, they buy gifts for the other family to be opened at Christmas.
Regardless of your family traditions while you celebrates Christmas, this year might be a great year to start a new tradition of giving to the less fortunate.
Changing Lives & Bringing Family Closer Through Advent
Memories make life richer more full of purpose. When experiential, Advent traditions and activities become more than something to fill the time but rather experiences to change lives forever and bring family closer.
Advent may or may not be a part of your Christmas season celebrations, however, when we consider its purpose, it can be a tradition that brings greater richness and depth to what God wants to do in your families. As families focus on the coming of Christ during the four weeks prior to christ’s birth they build the anticipation of his coming. Hope is stirred. The need for a savior is stirred. When we are waiting for a special day to arrive the anticipation can be unbearable. When the day finally came, your joy was greater. Instead of focusing on the gifts of Christmas focusing on the arrival of Jesus on that day gives focus to Christ. How wonderful to help our kids see with anticipation that Christ was coming to be with us and is now here!
A Witnessing Tool for School
“I want to make sure I’m ready to tell my friends about Jesus at school but I’m afraid I won’t remember what to say.”
Here are some ideas to help your kids be ready to share about Christ when asked:
- When a friend begins to share about a tough experience; listen to their story.
- Connecting their story to your story. Share about a time when you went through a similar experience.
- Connecting your story to God. Share how God helped you in your experience.
- Connecting their story to God.
Option A: Then say, “If God can help me, I know He can help you.” Would you like me to pray for you?
Option B: I remember hearing a story (from the Bible or from church) that is like your story. Tell the story of God’s care as it relates to the story. Then ask to pray for your friend.
Helping our kids feel confident that they can share their faith is important.
Faith Growth Moments
Passing on the faith can become a partnership between the church congregation and the family. Whether the families are experiencing turning points as they move from one stage of life or the families are experiencing important milestones that will leave a lasting impact on one’s life these teachable moments don’t want to be missed.
At each moment of one’s life the goal is to connect them God; see themself as God sees them. Linda Staats stated in her article Passing on Faith Milestone to Milestone, “Milestones offer and opportunity to bring God’s presence into the home and connect the rituals of daily life with the life of the congregation, thus shaping a vital partnership between home and congregation [Staats].
In a lecture, Family Development by Denise Kjesbo (Bethel Seminary, St.Paul, MN. Spring 2005 Family ministry class) highlighted that anthropologists believe all families in the western hemisphere experience predictable changes or turning points. Our goal and privilege as a church is to identify those changes and meet them in those moments. When we meet them in these moments where they are searching for answers, times of transition are greatest vulnerability and greatest potential for growth and His involvement in their lives. Dr. Kjesbo stated:
- There are tasks to be addressed at each stage and successful completion of tasks at one stage launches the family into the next stage. Unresolved tasks may create ongoing struggles. (ie: giving kids responsibility without the boundaries having had been established…a mom continues to step in and fight to take off the cocoon shell; one person in the family trying to let it go and one trying to hold onto issues.)”
- Church– one of only institutions to accompany families through each stage
- Children and Family ministers have potential to contributes to individuals and the family.
- The six stages are: 1-Leaving home; 2-Joining of families (marriage); 3-Families with young children; 4-Families with adolescents; 5-Launching children and moving on (empty nesters); 6-Families in later life. To read more on the six stages of life go to the website: The Childhood Affirmations at http://www.childhoodaffirmations.com/general/family/stages.html.
Dr. Kjesbo continued to explain, regardless of stage of life, “these 4 components need to be nurtured by family and church: Faith Talk: Help parents continue faith conversations; Family devotions (the more independent the individual the more “loose” these spiritual teaching moments become); Traditions/Rituals: family routine experiences via holiday gatherings and such; Service projects –completed as a family. “
What way can your ministry provide for families in turning points? Instead of just leading a child through faith milestones like baptism, salvation, entrance to youth group, why not as a church invite the parent into the discussions, studies and celebrations of each milestone?
[Staats. Passing on Faith- Milestone to Milestone Linda Staats. http://www.faithformationlearningexchange.net/uploads/5/2/4/6/5246709/passing_on_faith-milestone_to_milestone_-_staats.pdf.]
Leading Your Children’s Ministry Team
Andrew Carnegie once said, “The secret to success is not doing your work but in recognizing the right person to help you do it.” For leaders in children’s and family ministry, we need to develop and train teams for the work of the ministry. Developing and deploying these teams well requires delegation.
In this Cory Center article, Rhonda Haslett explores the process of delegation and how it can dramatically shift ministry effectiveness. Download the article here
Training Volunteers: Capturing Stories to Measure Effectiveness
There are many ways to evaluate your effectiveness in ministry, but Dan Scott in What Matters Now In Children’s Ministry believes one of the most powerful ways to evaluate your effectiveness is through the stories that are being told about what happens as a result of your ministry offerings.
In this FREE, ready-to-use teacher training, you and your children’s ministry team can explore the storytelling techniques as well as put them into practice as a way to capture and retell the stories of life transformation for all to hear.
Today’s families vs. Bible families
How are families different today?
A Co-Worker recently asked a great question on Facebook that I think has implications for how we do Kid’s & Family Ministry, so I thought I would share it here:
In what ways has the concept of “the family” changed from Biblical times until now? In what ways do conservative Christians view “the family” similarly and differently than they did in the New Testament era? In what ways are these changes good and in what ways are they not so good?
There were several responses, but here are my initial thoughts:
The definition and make up of family has changed drastically over the centuries – and it is hard to put labels on those, but here are a few:
1) Extended Family vs. Nuclear Family – in NT extended families living in the same abode (or on the same compound) was common place. Aunts, Uncles, G-parents, cousins grew up and often stayed in the same area their whole life. Nowadays, in CC circles, extended families are the exception and not the norm. Of course, nuclear families in the “traditional sense” (mom, dad, kids in one house) is quickly becoming the exception as well. This is not a statement of good or bad, just one of observation – but one that does carry implications for ministry.
2) Transience – families today are far more mobile than they were in the OT. Simply b/c of the inability to cover vast areas of land easily and quickly, families in OT and NT times most often just stayed together. Today, children are often living in different states and different countries than where they grew up and where their parents may be.
3) Individual vs. Corporate – Families are far more isolative today than in Biblical times. When we lived in Colorado, the neighborhood I lived in looked like cattle stockyards b/c everyone had a 6 ft privacy fence keep their own piece of land separated from everyone else’s. Also, with the invention of the garage and garage door opener, families never even have to come in contact with others if they choose to. They simply press a button to open and close their home without ever being seen.
4) Family size – Families today are far smaller than in Biblical times as well. I couldn’t venture a guess what family size was back then, but I would imagine it is far more than the 1.8 kids per families today. On the surface this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when you understand the reasons behind having numerous children back in OT & NT times, it becomes a bigger issue: kids for working the family business/farm, kids to carry on the beliefs and values of the Spiritual family are just 2 of them.
5) Priorities & Values – Overall the values and priorities of the family has changed drastically. It seems one of the main thrusts of the family in the OT & NT was to promote certain values or at the least maintain certain priorities – maintaining a certain level of livelihood was one of them (i.e., you grew crops and raised cattle to make a living and to be able to eat vs. going to the grocery store and buying whatever is needed).
The priorities and values of our families today show a very different culture. With the rise of entertainment – music, sports, computer technology, etc. – families have shifted into focusing on things that they believe will benefit their kids more in the long run. Not that these things are BAD in and of themselves, but I often wonder what is being left out to make room for all of these things?
6) Outsourcing – We have become a nation that outsources just about everything. We get our kids lessons for sports, music lessons, tutoring, spiritual training, etc. We buy our groceries at a store rather than grow them ourselves. We use technology to outsource our entertainment so kids don’t have to entertain themselves. In part, this has been driven by necessity – working 40-70 hours a week doesn’t leave a lot of time for other things. But there are also choices the family has made to value certain things over others; so to make time for those things we see how we can cut time to “make room” for it all.
7) Maturity & Rite of Passage – By and large, in European and American cultures, the age of maturity and marriageability has risen since OT & NT times. We tend to think of young people not being adults until they reach 18-21 years of age; and even then they not really ready to be married until much later in their twenties. This wasn’t the case for a LOOOOONG time! A Rite of Passage typically took place (Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs in Jewish culture) took place at age 13-16 – and it is then they were marriage eligible. You still see this in various cultures around the world – Quinceanera, for example – but by and large has gone by the wayside.
That’s all I got to say about that…..
What are your thoughts????
And the Winner is….
9 Things book by Ryan Frank
For the review of Ryan Frank’s new book – 9 Things They Didn’t Teach Me in College About Children’s Ministry – we had the opportunity to give one away. I used Random.org to generate a winner….it was: JILL WINTER!!!!!!!!
Congratulations Jill! Send me your address and I’ll send you the book: butterfielddean (at) hotmail (dot) com.
Dean
