Last week I began to talk about minimizing outbursts of anger in your classroom by providing order so that we can help our children know what to expect. However, there is a catch: when we establish rules and routines not only do we help children understand what to expect (a good thing) we can also lead them into the perception that they have certain “rights” and perhaps they do. When these rights (actual or imagined) are violated children can become angry.

In these cases it is vital that we make sure that we are debriefing children who are angry so we can understand their perceived right. It is also a good practice to make sure that our classrooms aren’t simply led by the rule of law, but by the rule of grace.

For example, our Children’s Church has three rules:

• Respect God
• Respect Others
• Respect Property

and we boil the whole thing down to one word: respect. So, when someone is interrupted they know that their “right” has been violated – sometimes this is easily corrected. Other times, this “right of respect” isn’t easily addressed and the child will come to a leader to express how they feel wronged. In these cases we’ll talk about the need for forgiveness and how doing so shows respect to God. In this way, our environment isn’t one of law but of grace – we can show respect to God by showing forgiveness to others.

If you have “taddle-tales” or children who are often upset because others did something, consider teaching a series on forgiveness and looking for other ways to introduce grace to your classroom.

As a teacher, how are you showing grace?

I’ve spent the last 8 years in full-time ministry.  One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that ministry is done best in collaboration.  Yet, there have been so many times in ministry that I have pulled away from conspiring with other children’s and family ministry leaders and as a result become far too self-dependent.  However, asking questions and networking with leaders is a great way to spur personal leadership development and grow in ministry.

This is why I’m so excited about Office Hours with Michelle Anthony.

Michelle Anthony, Family Ministry Architect at David C Cook and author of Spiritual Parenting and The Big God Story, is making herself available to you.  You can ask questions, share struggles and victories, gain encouragement and insight, and investigate best practices for spiritual development and family ministry.

Office Hours with Michelle Anthony Schedule:

Complete disclosure: I host Office Hours with Michelle Anthony, but that’s not why it’s a great idea.  There are a few things I love about Office Hours that make it a great resource for children’s and family ministry:

• No cost – Just sign up online, log on, and ask away. What’s not to love about free?
• Collaborative – You will hear questions from other children’s ministry leaders, Sunday school coordinators, and family pastors who are navigating the same ministry issues as you.
• Access – Michelle Anthony is a highly sought after speaker, typically you would have to pay to hear her in a conference setting but now you can access her directly every month.
• Personal – Some of the best ideas in kidmin do not outwardly change the program you run or the curriculum you use; they simply bolster your confidence, spiritual health, and leadership ability.

So check out Office Hours with Michelle Anthony on February 16!

There are many ways to evaluate your effectiveness in ministry, but Dan Scott in What Matters Now In Children’s Ministry believes one of the most powerful ways to evaluate your effectiveness is through the stories that are being told about what happens as a result of your ministry offerings.

In this FREE, ready-to-use teacher training, you and your children’s ministry team can explore the storytelling techniques as well as put them into practice as a way to capture and retell the stories of life transformation for all to hear.

Download the article here

Everyone knows that more learning takes place when people have the opportunity to share with one another.

That sounds great until you are trying to get a group of bashful contributors to be chatty, chatty.  Common results seem more like, “cricket, cricket.”

Here’s a simple way to get people talking.

• Prime the pump by sharing your ideas to the question on the table.
• Make sure the question is clearly understood.
• Most importantly, break the group down into smaller groups to discuss or brainstorm.
• Then ask your question.
• After a short time of sharing, ask each group to share what was said in their group.
• It’s always more productive when people know what they want to say BEFORE you call on them in front of the whole group.

I promise you, it will work!  Try it at your next training or gathering.

Listening is an important skill for a children’s ministry leader, especially those involved in leading a small group of kids.  In my ministry context, we spend time every week doing reflective questions that are less about the facts of the stories and more about the kids applying the story to their own lives.  Here’s a little background on active listening from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School:

Contrary to popular belief, active listening doesn’t mean sitting patiently while your counterpart talks. Nor does it simply entail saying “I understand” or establishing good eye contact. Rather, active listening is a dynamic process that can be broken down into three different behaviors: paraphrasing, inquiry, and acknowledgment.

• Paraphrase: repeat back what you think you heard
• Inquire: ask questions that pinpoint anything that you may not understand very well, need more clarification on, or that lead the group into a new topic (“Tell me more about that.” “What do you think about this?” “What makes you say that?”)
• Acknowledge: this is an empathetic response that requires you to put yourself in the person’s shoes, lead with acknowledgement in difficult or emotional conversations with kids (“It sounds as if you’re really disappointed.” “Your parents are fighting and that really is making it tough for you.”)

Full article is here.

Vote for the Cory Center in the Ministry-to-Children Blog Madness Contest! The Cory Center is in the Southwest Regional

Motivation and its source (extrinsic or intrinsic) is a hot topic.  Books like Daniel Pink’s Drive detail the power of intrinsic motivation within the modern workforce over and against the carrot and stick mentality from days gone by.  If you’re involved in children’s ministry, part of your ministry strategy involves deciding on which motivation to satiate for kids.  Do you give material prizes for things like memorizing Bible verses or reading the Bible regularly?  Or do you offer praise and encouragement only?  Do you have a store where kids can earn Bible bucks to purchase oh so many trinkets from Oriental Trading (also referred to as Stuff Parents Throw Away Trading).  Any of these strategies involves a conversation about motivation.

What I want to highlight today is volunteer motivation.  Let’s define extrinsic motivation as “engaging in an activity to achieve promised outside rewards or to avoid punishment from others” and intrinsic motivation as “engaging in an activity for the pleasure one gets from the task itself or for the sense of satisfaction in completing or working on a task.”  Unless you are paying every volunteer in your ministry and offering regular material benefits to those who serve in children’s ministry, you are partially relying on intrinsic motivation to fuel your volunteers.  How do you get people to become intrinsically motivated?

In a session I attended with my KidsWorld staff, led by Steve Boyd of Training By Design, we learned that volunteers are intrinsically motivated by three things: competence, control, and community.

• Competence: People are likely to engage in activities to the extent they perceive themselves to be competent in those activities.
• Control: People are more motivated to do something if they perceive to have control over what happens to them
• Community: People are typically motivated when working in an environment where the success of one person depends on, or interacts with, the success of others; or where they actions contribute to the success of something larger

What do you think about this model of motivation?  Is there anything missing?  How do you motivate your children’s ministry volunteers teams?

As a leader, my volunteer team is a critical priority.  One of my favorite quotes from Nancy Ortberg’s book Rubber Band Leadership is “Leaders wake up in the morning and think about their team.”  I think about my team all the time.

Our children’s ministry staff spent an entire day learning how to help engage our volunteer teams.  One of the topics we discussed was training volunteers.  Why do we train volunteers?  Training exists to build a volunteer’s competence in their role.  Regardless if the training topic is child protection, small group procedures, classroom management, or effective teaching methods, we train to increase competence.  However, different training practices have dramatically different results (and this will surprise you).

Educational training methods net 10% gains in competence:

• Training
• Conferences
• School
• E-learning
• Self study
• Books

Assessment & Feedback training methods net 20% gains in competence:

• Performance assessment
• Mentoring
• Coaching
• Attainable goals
• Peer Support
• Affirmation
• Recognition
• Feedback

Exposure and challenge training methods net 70% gains in competence:

• Increased responsibility
• Full job change
• Special assignment
• Increased decision making
• Exposure to senior leadership
• Lead a project or team
• Research and present recommendations

How are you using different training methods with your volunteer teams?  Where are you seeing the greatest impact in terms of children’s ministry volunteers feeling more competent in their role?